Menopause is really proving to be a bad trip which is no surprise really given my HERstory. My cycles had always been regular, right at about 21 days, and I always bled very heavily. Like a lot of other women, when I started my period (seemingly every time I turned around!) I would have terrible nausea along with sometimes debilitating cramps. When I was pregnant, that same hormone-driven nausea contributed heavily to my decision to terminate the first time, almost killed me the second time, and hospitalized me for the first time in my life the third. In any case, I no longer have my uterus (very early stage HPV-induced cervical cancer) but my ovaries are still there transitioning me into the Season of the Crone, if you will. For me, it is a bilious process.
Recently I had to take care of some unexpected *family emergency* business a couple of states away. It was shocking! After not having been there for a few months in a row, I could literally TASTE the toxicity of the place; a malaise of petrochemicals, concrete dust and polluted river. Of course I had always known it was there, but after having been out in the country where I can just, well, breathe, and be able to smell our neighbors’ cows (east wind), wildflowers (south wind in summer), pine from the north and water on the west, I’m reminded just how drastically my nausea is improved/worsened by the quality of the air I breathe. It literally makes the difference between being functional and feeling like unadulterated crap. My usual, manageable nausea was exacerbated beyond all control there and I suffered it. Badly.
All I could think about was Fresh Air. Fresh air made it possible for me to knit The Kid (our one and only daughter) without *intervention* for the fourth and fifth months and that it was fresh air in wom_n’s space made it that much more affirming and sweet.
Just like wom_n’s space, there isn’t much of it left.